I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
