I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My dick has a subreddit
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
