I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
love makes seman taste better
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
