you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
