I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
