your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
