That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
