for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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