bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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