is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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