dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
