How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
