I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
