I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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