Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
