I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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