Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
