I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
