for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
