I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
