eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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