he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
