kristin has been a bad kristin
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
