Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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