White coat. Heels.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
