Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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