My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
