I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
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