i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
