Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
