I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You left your phone here
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