Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
tell me about the eggs
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