You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
