the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My ATM looks so different sober.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
