I just cut my nipple shaving
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
