had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
