Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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