Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
