at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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