Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
