i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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