i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
