he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
