The maid of honor just puked.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
