Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
