so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
cat food counts as protein by the way
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
