Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
