You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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