I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
