I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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