Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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